happy accidents

December 30, 2006

we went out last night and wound up chatting til 4 am with a professor of punk literature from england who teaches at ku.  it started to rain and he and his friend offered us seats at their covered booth at the replay.  i sometimes lose faith in people, lose faith that there are people who want to have interesting conversations about books, music & movies, but then i meet some random person with a passion for something and my faith is restored.

and then there’s this boy up here in this picture with me.  i never lose my faith in him.  if anything, alex is a big part of why i know faith and hope aren’t lost commodities but real and tangible things inherently possessing a power that can move the world.

Advertisements

a merry christmas to all

December 21, 2006

i grew up with tons of family around at christmas time.  my nanny and grandad live in salina and so do their kids, so christmas could get big and crazy.  we would have dinners with polish sausage, relish trays, and far too many sweets to count, one year brandond got a tee-pee andwe  put all of the rest of our presents in it.  my mimi (great-grandmother) always wore sparkly jewerly and metallic shoes, little red or gold flats, she would so be ing fashion right now, and she would put the bows from everyone’s packages on her big, beautiful white hair.  there was always laughter and happiness and general merriment, and a feeling of being so blessed that my heart wanted to burst out of my chest.

here are a few pics of our house, mine and alex’s, where we try to feel the joy and blessings of christmas all year round, and one of us at the red lyon celbrating the end of our semester and the beginning of the holiday celbrations we both love so very much. may your days be merry and bright, all of my beautiful friends.

 

kansas city secret santa

December 15, 2006

there is a man in kc who has given away 1.3 million dollars over the last 26 years to people who were broke or needy. the story is on tv now and has been in a number of papers. he has given money in kc, in nyc after 9/11, in florida, mississippi and louisiana after hurricanes, and in d.c. after the sniper shootings in 2002. his story of kindness and generosity has made me cry and inspired me to try to be more giving and more dutiful to others in the new year. for more, click here: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/15751409/

about time

December 15, 2006

we hung out with b and e last night and thank god for them.  even when we are all busy and can’t spend time together for months, when we finally do get together it is a louises/pizza ordering/board game playing/boozey mcboozerton/reality bites watching good time.

doctor’s appointment today: let’s hope it’s all good in the hood.

here’s my thought…if we call people “maniacs” and the base of the word is MAN and therefore is rooted in th patriarchal structure that so many feminists, myself included, work against, shouldn;t we call crazy women…wait for it…LADIACS?  yeah, i think so.  i want to start a band called “the ladiacs” and our first album will be called “bringing it back.”  we’ll all be sitting in the trunk of a ginormous yellow caddy, flipping the camera the bird.  ladiacs represent.  anyone in?

vacation shannon

December 11, 2006

this picture is from our honeymoon in las vegas in may/june.  while we were there alex commented on how much he liked “vacation shannon,” the version of myself i become when i don’t have things to worry about like money, schedules, assignments, deadlines, my weight, etc.  this “vacation shannon” was more fun and more alive than i had been in months, and our honeymoon was everything that a honeymoon should be: fun, calm, silly, relaxing, crazy, busy, and wonderful.

the last five months have been the most difficult semester of my entire academic career.  i took 17 hours of class, taught 6 hours, and at one point i was observing 5 hours a week in a high school classroom.  alex took 16 hours this semester and we rarely saw any of our friends; in fact we haven’t seen each other all that much either.  some days i would leave for school at 7 while he was still sleeping and he would return from studying on campus after 11 pm, when i would already be asleep.

i am so looking forward to this winter break and rediscovering our friends, each other, and the spirit of “vacation shannon.”  i’m going to invite her to stay for a very long time.

better day

December 7, 2006

interview day on campus went well, it really made me feel confident in my abilities and the opportunities available to me.  last day of classes, just 2 hours to teach tomorrow and finals and YEAH!!! end of semester is in sight.

yesterday i lost one of the diamond earrings alex got me for my 30th birthday.  i had had a bad day (student rough drafts weren’t just sandpaper rough they were cut-your-foot- open-like-broken-glass rough), a misunderstanding with a teacher i have total respect for and turning in a 65 page project that evidently i misread the instructions for.  yuck.

school is hurtling to a close with the wind of anxiety and anticipation.  while i am excited to student teach, i have to admit i am feeling a little unsure of my decision to do so.  my friend dannah says to remember this is a decision for now; it doesn’t have to be a “rest of my life” decision, and she is right.  the friends i saw last weekend were so inspiring, all doing something in the arts or bringing the arts to kids, and i envy that.  i’m not sure i’ll be able to nurture my love of the arts while imparting the importance of participles to the sons and daughters of the suburban revolution.

so hear is where i get to the CYCLE OF SIXES.  some of you have heard me talk about this before.  i have this theory that every six years we ever evolving little dancing and singing human beans go through an emotional and personal trasnformation that feels like we are flattened out, dough style, and run through a machine to turn us into various noodle shapes, flexible and bendy until six years later, when we do it all over again.

here’s how it works (these are expectations from the world and realities of events):

age 6: first grade, full day of school, no more nap time.     age 12: middle school, torturous onslaught of puberty, school dances, acne.  age 18: after high school, making life decisions, living on your own in college or not, the FUTURE.  age 24: on track in a job, dating the person you’ll marry, becoming a contribbuting member of society.  age 30: you start having kids, get a promotion, buy your first house. and so on.

i don’t fit many of these molds but i find that there are days where i feel like, if i had or did, life would be infinitely easier.  that is not to say i dislike my life, it just has speedbumps in it that most drivers never even realize exist.

so here’s to 30, the fifth stop on my cycle of sixes.  a place of accepting myself and praying the woman i’ve become is happy in the job i think i want, a place of feeling completely lovedand praying i am worth it, and a place of total joy and wonder at the spirit and beauty of my friends and praying that a little of their spirit and beauty rubs off on me.