it’s official

August 16, 2007

i am a high school english teacher.  as of this morning at 8:05 when the first bell rang, and i proceeded to get my teach on.  my students are HIlarious and the semester promises to be entertaining, and challenging, but so worth it.  i feel like i am looking at a ginormous christmas tree with 125 presents under it and even though it will take a long time to unwrap them all, the payoff will be indescribable.  and it was one of the longest, most draining days i’ve had in a long time, but i loved it.

things i am looking forward to, not necessarily related to school:

superbad comes out tomorrow: you changed your name to mclovin?

the bonfire pep rally before homecoming

running into students in the grocery store and watching them avoid me 🙂

getting my first real paycheck and cracking into the mountain of student loans

going to sleep in about 5 minutes

that silver moment

August 15, 2007

i am an overthinker. i let myself get caught up in the what if’s and the how about’s until i am tossing and turning all night on a sea of possibilities. the thing about me, though, is that once i am into the chaos it is pretty easy for me to just sail along. i carry the nervous energy inside me, a coil of burning white adrenaline, and attempt to breathe in a seemingly normal rhythm so as not to alarm anyone. it’s that silver moment, between anxiety and acceptance, that i wish i could capture and show myself on days like today. i wish i could have a snapshot of the molecules in my body–swirling and sparkling, the deep greens and blues of james taylor songs–just as they start to settle, right when they acclimate to their surroundings and everything becomes still, a forest of quiet trees, a brook no longer babbling. because i don’t have that snapshot, though, on this–the eve of my first day as a high school english teacher–i sing this to myself about how things will be:

“and we meet in the middle
on this undiscovered road
and we meet in the middle
and we turn around
lost and found, homeward bound
starting new…”nagy, finke, mccall, johnson, et al.

bone tired

August 10, 2007

i am done and the fork is in me.  i have worked all week as both a teacher and a new home renter and can say i do not remember being this wiped out ever.  there were probably times in grad school but thanks to late nights and $1.50 wells, i don’t recall them.  we’ve been setting up house and it looks great so far…almost done putting everything in it’s place.  and school is looming–i have students thursday 🙂  this means i am 5 days away from my first year as a high school english teacher.  god help us all.  i”m missing all my good buddies i haven’t seen lately, particulary the florida snorg crew.  where’s ollie, a case of miller lite, and a dimly lit room full of cheese snacks and crazy people when i really need it?