October 17, 2006

i taught a high school class for the first time today, 19 students who were in my charge to write a modernized version of a short scene from the crucible, and some of them just did not give a shit.  they didn’t even try to feign interest, despite the fact that it is a graded, 50 point exercise.  i’m in a practicum now and begin student teaching in the spring.  since i have been teaching freshman comp for the last four years it is not intimidating to stand in front of a classroom and impart information related to writing, literature, etc.  what is intimidating is the blatant disregard and disrespect they have for themselves, education, each other.  it is absolutely mind boggling that they have an opportunity to be more than they are and they elect not to.  i know not all students are passionate about education, i know that every student has his or her own baggage that they bring to the classroom, but i truly believe that each child has the potential to be engaged, aware, and taught.  every child has the chance to matter, to contribute, to grow, and the fact that some see themselves as incapable or worthless breaks my heart.  i know i should shrug some of this off, recognize that teaching will be frustrating, challenging, dangerous, even, but the perk of seeing one child’s eyes widen at the realization of his or her ability, that is worth all the struggle.